Restarting

Once again, blogging has slipped my mind. Given, my life has been crazy and blogging isn't at the top of my priority list. However, here I am, 2:39am on the morning of December 7th, 2010. Couldn't sleep, so I thought I'd give this a go.

I'm home! I arrived a week ago today and has it been a whirlwind of a first week back! It consisted of late nights, Youth Group, a concert, all night laser tag, shopping, church, and cleaning and reorganizing my room. I haven't had trouble sleeping all week. Maybe I'm up tonight because I didn't do much today, and the incessant activity is what forced my body to sleep earlier this week. Anyways, it's great to be home. Still hard to believe I'm actually here, but I've loved catching up with friends and my family. Life is good.

Something I wasn't anticipating, it's been(and still is) an interesting emotional transition. My first night home I was a bit taken aback and unsettled at being here again. And I've had moments like that all week. Last night I think I had some tiny version of an anxiety attack. Really strange... I wasn't even thinking about being here and my life or anything! All of the sudden I got really restless and anxious, heart started beating fast, and had slight trouble breathing like normal. So I cleaned the kitchen, basically tore my room apart and started cleaning and sorting through everything. Really strange. Today's been good. I got a little melancholy a few hours ago, and that was a bit out of the blue as well. I suppose I'm still in that transition period. I'm really happy to be here though. I really am.

My highlights of my first week back would be all the time I've spent with my Youth Group and being at church again. And seeing family and friends. I guess the whole week has been one big highlight. :) I love what God is up to in this place. And I'm stoked to be right in the middle of it all. There's still people to see, more cleaning/sorting to be done, and holiday festivities to get on with. This is only the beginning! I'm really excited.

I have high expectations for this year, and I know it will be spectacular. God never fails me! Christmas will be wonderful, and all the little benefits of being home have made my life so much easier and full of joy. Who knows what's next, but this season is brilliant already!

Tear Down The Walls

Welcome! Let's begin.

In my last post I mentioned the beginning of something God was starting in me. I said the only thing I knew for sure what that He said, "I'm broadening your vision." That was almost a month ago. A couple weeks ago I spent some time praying, asking God to reveal more or clarify what that meant. I felt like He added to the previous statement and said, "I'm broadening your vision so that you can be free..." I thought, 'Okay. Freedom is good. Still a very broad statement.' So I accepted it and asked the Holy Spirit to continue to bring understanding.

Over the last week, I've really had the youth group on my heart, and a couple kids in particular. And I've had the opportunities to encourage them, build them up and spur them on. I've been so content during the week, and I felt God say that I was content because I was learning to 'get my eyes off myself'. That's a concept and principle that we hear a lot here, and seems easy enough, but I felt like I really understood it this week. It was good to feel like I'm getting it. This whole idea of 'getting my eyes off myself' fit right in with 'broadening my vision' and I immediately understood that God was adding depth to that statement.

Yesterday morning I sat down to do my devotions and God gave me complete closure and clarity. I was journalling about how my heart and mind was focused on youth and ministry over the last week, and I ended up flipping to 2 Corinthians 4. Paul talks about his ministry and the sacrifices he made for the sake of the people he would reach. I really related to his heart for the ministry, and wanted that same passion and commitment that Paul had. At the end of the chapter is one of my favorite sets of verses:

"Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."

And again, I felt like 'fixing my eyes on the unseen' was part of broadening my vision.

The more I journaled and listened for more clarity, God finished the statement by releasing me into ministry in the next season of my life. He explained himself through one of my favorite Hillsong songs, "Tear Down The Walls". The song basically summarized every He was saying to me. And I felt like it defined what He had done in me over this year. He gave me this statement that tied my year together. He really gave me closure to this season and I really understand what His goal was for me this year.

"I'm broadening your vision, so that you can be free to tear down the walls."

This made so much sense to me. During the first part of this year, God tore down so many walls inside of me. He went deep and dealt with walls that were put up a long time ago. The last part of this year, He's been preparing and equipping me to return to ministry; to help tear down walls in the people around me.

I, in no way, have things figured out, but I have so much understanding of this year's significance in my life, and so much peace about the next season. Whatever 'tearing down the walls' looks like, I'm ready to embrace what God sends my way. This is only the beginning!

Wings Like Eagles

It just keeps getting better! I am going to do my best to verbalize what I've experienced over this weekend, but I'm certain it will in no way come close to the real thing.

The weekend was Hillsong's youth conference called "Encounter". It's a weekend put together for all three youth ministries in the church: Fuel(jr.high), Wildlife(high school), and Powerhouse(college age). They have if here at the Hills campus in our main auditorium. They completely transform the place to a youth getaway, with everything from food, bumper cars, mechanical bulls, and live music. I'd been hearing about Encounter all month, but the advertisement didn't do a great job of explaining exactly what was going on, so I wasn't planning on going. However, God had other plans, as He often does. Through a series of unpredictable events, conversations, and decisions, I found myself at church at 9:00am for the first of the morning sessions.

We found seats and enjoyed the pre-service entertainment(some comedic improve done by 4 or 5 of the youth leaders.). I sat back and watched as approx. 1000 young people trickled into the auditorium for the first session. About 10 minutes before the service kicked off, the room when pitch black and a dance remix of "Thunderstuck" by ACDC screamed from the sound system. Strobe lights pulsed and illuminated the jumping, moshing, masses of youth that filled the floor. I was delighted and thought to myself, "THIS is how you do a youth conference!" And it was only the beginning...

What happened over the next 3 days was completely surprising, overwhelming, and exhilarating. It's a bit of a blur now, but the things I walked away with are crystal clear.

I've felt a freedom this weekend that I haven't felt since I've been here. I've been freed in different areas, to various degrees throughout this year, but this weekend was a new level of freedom. The combination of the faith and expectancy in that place, God's thick, tangible presence, and my acute awareness of my limited time here, created the perfect storm - in the best way. Even now, just thinking and writing about it, I can't help but be moved by God's blessing in this season of my life.

There's so many little things that God did that I couldn't even begin to outline, but here's a couple big ones that God spoke clearly over the weekend:

1. This season will be a season of New Things.

'This season' meaning my return home, my new beginning, after this year in Australia. I've been praying and preparing my heart and mind to leave this place and return home. But I've known, without a doubt, that I won't be simply returning to my old life, but starting something new, somewhere familiar. God confirmed this at the conference and poured out even more faith and confidence in what He's going to do next. I believe that what we're seeing now in our church, our youth ministry,and our city, is only the beginning of God's plan.

2. He's broadening my vision.

During one of the night sessions, he placed a couple different things on my heart. I found myself heavily burdened and praying about these things with a passion that wasn't there before. As I walked away that night, I felt two things in my spirit: (1) He's broadening my vision, (2) He's increasing my capacity. And I definitely see the areas that he's doing that it, and I'm excited to see that outworked in my life. I felt like I was getting just a glimpse of what He sees and being broken by what breaks His heart. That's exactly what I want!

So those are just a couple things that I have on my heart, and am praying about. I don't know exactly what all of it means or looks like yet, but I believe it's the start of something in me that's new and challenging, in the best way. I love doing life with Christ. How could it get any better than this? I can't imagine what Heaven is going to be like...

"Then the Lord replied: 'Write down the revelation

and make it plain on tablets,

so that whoever reads it may run with it.

For the revelation awaits an appointed time.

It speaks of the end and will not prove false.

Though it linger, wait for it;

it will certainly come and will not delay.' "

-Habakkuk 2

This scripture is one that has inspired me to record the things that God shows or speaks in my life. I realize the context of the Old Testament is where this verse fits, but God has used it in my life, encouraging me to write down what He's doing in me. I love how The Message version puts it:

And then God answered: "Write this.
Write what you see.
Write it out in big block letters
so that it can be read on the run.
This vision-message is a witness
pointing to what's coming.
It aches for the coming—it can hardly wait!
And it doesn't lie.
If it seems slow in coming, wait.

It's on its way. It will come right on time.

Waiting is the hardest. But He renews my strength in the waiting! And soaring on wings like eagles sounds pretty good to me. :)

The Changing of Seasons

We are most definitely well into spring here in Australia! It was beautiful and sunny today, but still a bit too warm for my liking. It is exciting, however, to know that we'll be swimming soon!

In other news, school is still splendid and God is still teaching me things that are blowing my mind. I'm convinced that it wouldn't hurt every Christian to do Bible College! There's just so much to learn and so many of us don't know near enough! I'm so glad that I'm here learning everything I can, it's such a privilege.

In regards to college family, things are going okay. Still loving these amazing people. However, there has been a bit of tension in the house this past week. Simple misunderstandings, miscommunications and mistaken motives, nothing too devastating at all. But when a group of people that are so close nit, even the little things cause tension. We did work through our problems, and learned from the experience, and hope handle the next situation more effectively. A good learning experience for all of us. It's good to have people in my life that are committed to relationships and growing together. Conflict is not near as painful when you have people like that.

Today in Chapel I got emotional, realizing that my time here is very limited. I feel like one day I can't wait to get out of here, and the next I'm worried about leaving! It's a good process though. I do have such a peace about the changing of seasons in my life, and this fragile time of transition is quite precious.

I shall update again later. College Break is coming up next week and I'll have 7 whole days to do whatever I please. I'm sure I'll find some space for a blog or two. :) All my love, as always!

His Mercy Is New

These past 5-6 weeks have been so incredible, and spring has officially arrived. Let me tell you a little about it...

School is really great. This semester has been much more enjoyable and I'm closer to my classmates than I was a couple months ago. We had our first performance of the semester, and it went really well! We've also written a song already. Each of us had to co-write a song with a classmate and I got to work with a girl named Mirang Jung from South Korea. It was such a fun experience! That was one of my first big assignments and it's completed and submitted, so I'm pretty happy. Out of all the co-writes, our trainers will pick the top 3 songs and the class will plan a 15 minute worship service using the original songs. I'm really looking forward to that.

My college family is amazing. Our house of girls hangs out with a house of guys, and we all have way too much fun. We get together at our house every Sunday night for Family Night and Chelsea cooks us dinner. Most weeks we're over at the guys' house at least 2 nights of the week. We just can't seem to spend enough time together! We play card games by candlelight and laugh hysterically while trying to solved funny riddles. They're just the best crowd of people.

It's funny how people from all over the world can come together and bond so quickly. It's hard for me to think about doing life without them.

I'm already getting anxious about leaving. Some days seemed to crawl by, but looking back, these months have gone so incredibly fast. I just know that in no time at all I'll be home wondering where the time went. And for that reason, I've taken so many more opportunities these last couple months. I stay up late, and go out with the gang (even when I have assessments due) because I know I won't regret it in a couple months. It's been so fun, and I've got heaps of memories to carry with me for the rest of my life.

I've been sick these last couple of days, and I went to plug my nebulizer in to start treatments...and it blew up. So, now I don't have that, but I'm still believing for divine healing! I haven't had to use any treatments this whole year, and I think God can keep me well for the last 12 weeks! =)

I think I'm going to try to get to bed early tonight. I value sleep quite highly these days, and tomorrow is a full day. All of you back home should be waking up soon, so enjoy another beautiful day that our God has given us. His mercy is new, so let's not live for yesterday.

All My Love,

Bri

What's Happening In My Mind...

It's Saturday night, the 21st of August, and I'm sitting here laughing hysterically! Chelsea, Liz, Stian and I are sitting around the table talking about Jim Carrey movies. Ahh, college life is good.

Tonight I was rostered for Kids Creative (worship for our kids programs) and we had so much fun. Saturday night church is a whole other atmosphere compared to Sunday services. Everything is in The Hub and the setting is always very casual and relaxed. It's very comfortable and feels like home. Anyways, the kids are always great and our Saturday PM team is great... I love those people.

Today was nice, I was able to relax and recharge. We got a new refrigerator and washing machine, thanks to my new housemate, Chelsea. Very excited about that. But this afternoon found me on edge for some reason... I got to Skype briefly with my parents, but the connection was terrible. I ended up extremely irritated after that and it kind of continued through the day. I prayed about it and tried to find an explanation but couldn't. Maybe it was just the series of events in my day, or something else. I'm still soul-searching and trying to figure out why I'm responding to people/events in this way. It's very unlike me... At this point, I'm feeling defensive (and I'm not sure why) and that makes me want to retreat back into myself. Isolation was always the answer for me, BUT I'm learning not to do that. So, because I'm changing the way I do life, my goal is to not completely pull away from everybody! Surely this is just a phase and all will return to normal soon.

Life is so funny. Occasionally, my mood will change like the weather here in Syndey (completely unpredictable), and it surprises me, causes me to step back and question what's happening in my mind, and I usually come out understanding myself a little better. Something God uses to grow me, I suppose. Whatever this is, I'm prepared to be educated on my own motives, beliefs, and thought processes. Good? Definitely. Fun? Not at all.

Well, before I start rambling about internalization and psychology, I'm going to go to bed. These kinds of crazy posts is the usual product of my late night blogging. Everything should be less dramatic after a good night's rest!

Until next time...

"The Lord bless you, and keep you;
The Lord make His face shine on you,
And be gracious to you;
The Lord lift up His countenance upon you,
And give you peace."

It Is Well With My Soul

So...I completely forgot that I had a blog! I saw a friend’s blog and thought: ‘Oh my goodness!’ :) It’s been over 2 months since I posted anything, and so much happens in 2 months here at HILC. I’m not sure where to start, let’s see...

As of right now, I have less than 16 weeks left here in Australia. Thats right folks, I’m homeward bound! After lots of praying and seeking, I’ve very sure that after my year here, I’m meant to be back in my home church. As excited as I am to be home, each day I’m realizing how much I’m going to miss this place. This has been the most incredible 7 months of my life! It’s been a wonderful season, but seasons must change. Life is so bitter-sweet!

In other news, I’m 3 weeks into the 2nd semester, and it’s a whole new ballgame. It’s a bit more academically and musically demanding, but it’s going to stretch me spiritually, more than anything. And it’s wonderful! The classes have already been outstanding, and I get to write songs for my assessments, how much more wonderful can it get? This semester is already so different than the last. God did so much in me during the first 6 months, and my attitude and outlook are so much better. The peace that I have now is absolutely incredible. God just keeps blowing my mind! Anyways, I’m quite looking forward to what the next 14 weeks (end of the semester) brings. One of my subjects is Personal Evangelism, and that’s where the spiritual stretching comes in. It’s good though, I’m understanding that God likes to keep me uncomfortable... it’s necessary for growth. And growing is what I’m here for!

I wish I could tell you everything that God’s doing in me and around me... it’s truly indescribable. But instead of writing it all down, I have faith that when we meet again, you’ll see the change for yourself! I’m definitely looking forward to the ‘homecoming’ season, but I’m very content to be in this season of training and growth. I’m getting better about living in my ‘now’... it’s definitely the way to live. Actually, there’s nothing quite as satisfying. Here’s a quote that inspired me regarding this thought:

“Normal day, let me be aware of the treasure you are. Let me learn from you, love you, bless you before you depart. Let me not pass you by in quest of some rare and perfect tomorrow. Let me hold you while I may, for it may not always be so. One day I shall dig my nails into the earth, or bury my face in the pillow, or stretch myself taut, or raise my hands to the sky and want, more than all the world, your return.” ~Mary Jean Iron

Life is good. My life, 10,000 miles away from home, is good. And I can finally say that and believe it without a shadow of a doubt. I can’t wait to see what God does next. This really is the adventure of a lifetime! Thanks for all the prayers and support. You guys are the best.

All My Love,

Bri

Happiness

What is happiness?

Happiness is a rainy day.

Happiness is the windows down and the stereo up.

Happiness is an ocean shore in North Carolina.

...A sunrise and a cup of coffee...A convertible Mustang and Billy Joel.

Happiness is a good book & cup of tea.

Happiness is Denny’s at 3am.

Happiness is slow dancing on a frozen pond.

...A campfire, a guitar, and 30 friends singing at the top of their lungs.

Happiness is an authentic Italian restaurant and a Billy Joel & Elton John concert.

Happiness is new friends that seem like old ones...The Blue Mountains and road trips...

...An old pontoon boat and a muddy lake...A four-wheel drive truck and 3 feet of snow.

Happiness is laughing uncontrollably... Playing tag on horseback... Sleeping in.

Happiness is creating something no one’s ever heard...Singing harmony, and dashboard drumming.

Happiness is swimming in the dark, falling asleep in the boat, waking up and driving home at 6am.

...Corny musicals... a cappella duets... Diet Coke... Slippers.

Happiness is a homecoming football game...A high school dance... A teddy bear that smells like him.

Happiness is my great-grandmother’s piano... An old barn and a pool table.

Happiness is baking cookies and wrapping presents.... decorating the Christmas tree and a handmade nativity set.

...A can of deluxe mixed nuts... A scrapbook full of priceless memories.

Happiness is candlelight and a bubble bath... Sugar-free chocolate...

Happiness is a pair of old cowboy boots and horse that’s your best friend...

It’s your brother’s arms around you when you’re crying... And thinking that it was worth all the years of fighting... It’s sitting on his bed and telling him you’ve got a crush on his best friend...

Happiness is an country dirt road and an old farmhouse... A chinese restaurant... A church family...

...Watching Doctor Who and playing Quelf... Fourth of July & Superbowl...

Happiness is being independent...The Sydney Opera House... And saying ‘No Worries’... It’s finding out who you are... And making changes along the way...

Happiness is a moment... No matter how close or far away...

When you realize that God is good... And every breath is reason enough to smile.

So tell me, what is happiness to you?

I've figured out...

I've figured out that I have this problem with blogging... Every time I go to post something new, I can't figure out where to start! It's only been a month since my last post but so much has happened - as it does here at Hillsong. How about we start shallow and work our way deeper?

Life is good! School is still as wonderful as ever. I still love my classes (with the exception of one) and still look forward to every lecture. Brilliant people they have working here... Musically, I've got my performance this coming Monday! I was crazy stressed about it last week, but after God did the whole, "Brianna. Chill." thing... I'm good. See, I've recognized the pattern of my thinking, and I'm working on "renewing my mind" (Rom. 12:2). It's a process, but I'm getting better. When it comes to conflict - internal or external - in my life, I tend to worry way too much, emotionally wreck myself, and expect my little mind to work things out. Later, I realize that there's no need for that when God has things under control. I could be using all that wasted energy to fan into flame the gift of God that's in me! (2 Tim. 1:6) Which brings me to my next point...(too many lectures and sermons! haha)

I've figured out that I'm not here for music. In a sense, I knew that when I came, but I'm finding more and more that music is just one of the benefits of being here. And I know as I continue to stretch and grow, I will know even more that I am here for something much bigger than music. (It's that whole, "We are saved, and we are being saved. We are healed, and we are being healed." thing. I knew, I know and I will know!) When I tell people that, some of them get a little confused and ask, "well what are you here for?" I laugh... I just say: "Open heart surgery. I came to Australia for open heart surgery." And that is so true. Oh, and brain surgery too! It's the most incredible experience. God did it as soon as I got here and He's doing it everyday... It's like, each day God breaks through another mindset, smashes another attitude, and destroys one more of those little boxes I try to put Him in. I told my housemate, "I'm wearing skinny jeans and converse, I stopped drinking coffee, and I say 'No Worries'...What's happened me?!" haha And that's the beauty of it - from mindsets to style: I'm recreating myself. Actually, I'm not recreating myself, I'm just learning how to be the woman God created me to be all along.

There's actually heaps more to tell... (They say heaps here in Australia, did I tell you that? Heaps and Loads. And they say Ta, which is short for Thank You...I like that one.) I'll try to write more soon. Less TV, more blogging!

Oh and one more thing, it's COLD here! It's Australia, no I didn't bring a winter coat! I plan to buy one soon.

So friends, rejoice in the Lord always!

:)

~ Lord Jesus, you're brilliant. If only I could write something so powerful and unique as what you're doing in me. I love you. Help me to be the woman you've uncovered, the one you've always intended for me to be... I like her. All for you, and you alone. Ta Daddy. ~

An Inheritance

I'm in the middle of reading the book of Joshua in the Old testament, and after doing my devotions today, I thought I'd write a little about what I'm learning from Joshua.

So, first off, I just so admire Joshua. He's appointed to lead the Israelites after Moses passes on, and he steps right up into leadership, without question or hesitation. One thing we see God speak to Joshua several times is: "Be strong and courageous." Moses says this to him when he appoints him as leader, and then the Lord speaks it to him several times throughout his life. This is something that has always stood out to me. We don't see Joshua panicking or questioning God, but God is constantly telling him to be strong and courageous. God reminds him repeatedly that He is with him, and that He will never leave or forsake him. God promises those same things to us, only if we would walk in the same kind of faith and trust that Joshua did! It's something I'm learning to do... When we take God at His word, and live without fear, we will see God's promises come alive in our lives.

Another group of people I'm learning from is the Levites. The Levites were set apart in the tribes of Israel as an offering to the Lord; to do the work in the Tent of Meeting(the Tabernacle). It was very high calling. We see in Numbers 8 where the Lord has Moses dedicate the Levites. He presents them as an offering to the Lord--not a burnt offering--but a wave offering.

**A wave offering was something done to accompany the peace offering. If was the offering of the first fruits, that was to be presented("waved" before God) and viewed as holy unto God. It was done, almost as a gift unto God, because of His covenant and communion with the people.**

So for the Levites to be presented as a wave offering to God, was to say - "These are our best men, set apart as holy, to serve Christ." What a honor! It was a high calling to work in the Tabernacle. I was thinking about this because personally I've felt called to ministry in the church, and it's what I'm learning and growing in while I'm here. As I was reading Joshua today, I was reading the sections where Joshua is dividing the land among the tribes, and this is what it say's about the tribe of Levi:

Joshua 18:7 -- "The Levites, however, do not get a portion among you, because the priestly service of the Lord is their inheritance."

I posted a blog last year on "Other's May; You Cannot." and that verse reminded me of it. It talks about how those in ministry are held to a higher standard and, as we often do with God's word, we see it as law instead of freedom. We see the things we can't do and can't have, instead of realizing everything we get to do and have! What a wrong way of thinking! As I read this in Joshua today, I just repented before God for the times when I view ministry as a burden or duty. It's the high calling of God; it's our inheritance!

I never want to get to the place where I feel like serving God is something I have to do, but instead always seeing it as an honor; an inheritance. How amazing is God, that He would choose us-finite, imperfect, human beings-to join Him in His work. He calls us to be holy, as He is holy; to be set apart, as He is set apart. What an honor! I'll take that over anything the world has to offer, any day.

So, those are just my thoughts. I'd love to hear yours! :)

This Is Life

Hey Guys! It's April 16th, I've been gone almost 3 months now and I'm surviving just fine! Who knew... haha :)

The past couple of weeks have been wonderful. Classes are still going great, each lecture is brilliant and I'm still learning SO much. Some days I'm not sure I'm retaining everything... It's a bit overwhelming because you've got the normal school/class schedule, plus church & evening meetings, plus your weekly fieldwork...all the while, God's doing open heart surgery! It's a bit crazy, but completely amazing.

On Monday, my class had our first performance day. Each of us had to sing a song (some did lead and some did background) and then our tutorial leaders assessed us. I was a background vocalist this time, and everything went great! The girl that did the lead vocal was fantastic, so she was super easy to work with. Wednesday, we switched the lead and background vocals, so now we get a go at leading a song. I'm singing a song called "Breathe Slow", we've got very limited rehearsal time, so it should be interesting... but the band and my backing vocalists are great, so it should be a lot of fun!

Recently I've been reading Revelation and God's been talking to me about intimacy and the Fear of the Lord. It's been really good. God keeps revealing himself in different ways, and our relationship has grown leaps and bounds. I've been especially impacted by my Old Testament class. I love unpacking the scriptures; seeing God's plan outworked hrough history and discovering God's character. It's incredible how God is still that same God today.

Other than that, I'm getting really excited for my family coming in July!! It's really close, and we've got some fun things planned. It will be so good to see them! In regards to being homesick, I'm doing so much better! I'm definitely more comfortable and I absolutely adore the friends I've made. I think I'm finally getting the hang of living in the "Now". It's good... God's really given me a peace about things, and a growing joy of being here and purposely seeking Him.

I hope all is well in each of your worlds! I miss and love you all, as always. Thanks for all the prayers and support, I really wouldn't be here without them!

"The Lord bless you and keep you;

the Lord make his face shine upon you

and be gracious to you;

the Lord turn his face toward you and give you peace."

-- Numbers 6:24-26

The Cornerstone

Well I haven't posted anything lately-sorry about that. Things have been crazy here! Let's see...

Three weeks ago we had the first of our 2 Colour Conferences, which are women's conferences put on by Hillsong and hosted by Bobbie Houston. All the college students served in the first conference, which we had in the Sydney Entertainment Centre, and I served in HMA (Hillsong Music Australia). Basically, I had to manage a table of journals and bibles from our Resource Center, it wasn't too hard of a job. I was very tired though, we would catch the bus from here in Glenwood at 6:30am and got home between 10:00-11:00pm, and then get up and do it all over again the next day! It really was good though, the women [all 11,000 of them =) ]so appreciated our service. It was great to see all kinds of women from across the world, come together to receive a vision for this year and be equipped spiritually to change their world.

The following weekend we had the second conference, which we held here in our Convention Centre at church, and there were about 5,000 women this time. The 1st year college girls got to attend the 2nd conference! It was so nice to be able to dress up, relax under umbrellas on the lawn, and just be with friends. The whole 2 weeks was a great experience.

Last week we got back to regular classes and everybody was pretty happy. In college, we're spit up into Tutorial Groups, so there's about 20-25 people in a class, and I absolutely love my tutorial. We're used to being together everyday, so being spread out for 2 weeks seemed like an eternity! So when classes started back up, everyone was really glad to see each other.

God's just teaching me so much. I feel like I've been stretched, changed and learned more in these last 2 1/2 months than I have in my whole life! There's been hard moments and God's still pointing out areas that I need to work on, issues having to do with trust and submission, in particular. Things that He's been working in me for the last 3 years... It's a process, but such a good one. One thing that really got my attention was at Sunday night church, on March 14th. Priscilla Shirer was preaching (She's brilliant!) and she read Matthew 21:42, where Jesus talks about the stone the builder's rejected becoming the cornerstone. She was saying that the hard times in our lives-the 'stones'- will teach us foundational truths. And in that moment, I felt God say to me, "Your time here will be the cornerstone for the rest of your life.", and it really got my attention. It's actually been really hard being here, and I always knew that this experience would forever alter my life... but after God specifically spoke this to me, I realized how crucial it was that I pay attention and engage in what God's doing right here in this season of my life. So over the last couple weeks I've been doing my best to really live in the 'now' and learn and grow in every way I can. It's been so good. I still have my moments, but my perspective has changed a lot, and I'm really looking forward to what God will do in and around me in these next 8 months.

There's been so much more, but I couldn't possibly write everything that has changed in me or everything that God is doing or speaking. It has been such an amazing experience so far. I'm really looking forward to coming home, but I'm more looking forward to the changed person I'll be when I get there. =)

My Cause and God's Faithfulness

Well I suppose it's time for a blog update! Here's so stuff that I did today in my Music Excellence Tutorial. It was really good... She just had us think about our lives and our Cause. Then we journaled what we were felt God was saying, or what we felt was our personal Cause and mission. She didn't want us to use The Great Commission or our Cause as Christians in general, but more of a personal statement that says what I am about. So here's some things I journaled...

My Cause

The Love Of Christ--To live in it, to reciprocate it, and to help people discover it.

My Cause effects the decisions I make on a momentary basis. I decide in the conversations I have, the way I greet and look at people, the way I act or react--they’re all done with the intent to accomplish My Cause.

My primary role in fulfilling my cause is to be the love of Christ to others. To be patient, kind, understanding. I think worship is a part of that. I believe that ‘helping people discover’ the love of Christ is often done through worship.

My Mission Statement:

*To love people unconditionally; to live my life so in love with Christ, that it causes them to want to fall in love with Him too.*

My tutorial leader told us that our mission statement and the different parts of our Cause will change over time. So, these things will be tweaked over the years, but I feel like it's a pretty good start.

**On Sunday I was a mess. I was ready to buy a plan ticket and go home. At church on Sunday night there was a guys-Clarence-who spoke into my life. He was in the row in front of me and he saw that I was upset, and began to tell me that I was here for a reason, and that the enemy would do anything he could to keep me from that. He just encouraged me and told me that I had a new family now, that these people have been placed in my life to hold me up and love me.

On Monday morning I was still homesick after talking with the family and Clark before school. While I was walking to school I was praying and just letting God have all my fears and sorrows, I kept saying that I wasn’t going to worry about it, and I just gave it to Him. I began singing the song, “The Battle Belongs To The Lord” and started speaking that over my life. I just began letting go of the things that were holding me down.

On Tuesday, during chapel, one of the student had 3 minutes to “Bring On The Glory” and she spoke on God fighting for us, and how the battle belongs to the Lord. :) Then on Tuesday night, during Sisterhood United Night, Bobbie spoke on some things that God had been telling her. One of which was a scripture out of 2 Chronicles 20:22-”As they began to sing and praise, the Lord set ambushes against the men...” And she said that God had said that the battle is not ours to fight. That we are to worship, and pray, and lean into His presence, and He will fight for us.

So God confirmed twice, what He was speaking to me on Monday. He is so good! I cease to be amazed at His faithfulness. And I’m always blown away that He cares about our smallest of needs... My God is truly breathtaking. So, I’m doing much better now. I know I’m bound to have my days, and trails are certain to arise, but just as certain as these hard times will come, I am certain that He is faithful. He is faithful to deliver me. He fights for me.

‘Jesus, I will never understand why you love me so much, or why you would choose to fight for me. I’m so glad you do. I’m falling for you, more and more, with each passing moment.’

2 Chron. 20:15 - “...This is what The Lord says to you, ‘Do not be afraid or discouraged because of this vast army. For the battle is not your’s, but God’s.’...”

Devastated

I am completely devastated by Christ’s love. I’ve just experienced something... I can’t explain it. I don’t know what it’s about, or what God’s doing. But I don’t think I’ve ever felt or understood God in such a powerful way.

There really aren’t words. For chapel today, we did hymns and no preaching. It was all hymns. And God started doing something... I don’t know what that something is. It’s like He started tearing open my heart, my soul, my spirit and just started tearing away everything. He’s shredding everything I’ve ever know, everything I’ve ever thought...It’s like He’s rebuilding, reshaping. And I’ve never felt more pain, sorrow, joy, remorse, excitement, fear, in my life. I don’t know what He’s doing, and I’m not sure what everything means yet. But something monumental changed in me today.

There’s two things that He made clear to me, and incredibly clear... The first is that He’s taking everything I’ve ever known and tearing it apart. He’s doing open heart surgery, He’s uncovering the deepest parts of me that I never knew existed, He’s penetrating to the very core of my being. And all because HE LOVES ME. He’s ripping out every idea, every way of thinking, every sin, every soul tie, every hurt and fear, and He’s refilling. He’s remodeling. He’s pushing through to the very essence of who I am and changing everything, and it’s breathtaking.

The second thing that’s is crystal clear to me is that, He’s about to show me a completely different side of Himself. I don’t know what it is yet.. but I know today was just a glimpse-He made that clear, it’s just a glimpse-of this new side, this new thing He’s doing. But there’s so much more... There’s something going on deep below the surface and I can’t quite grasp what it is. What it is, it’s changing me in every way it possibly could. It’s like I have no idea about anything anymore. I’ve completely ripped open by the creator of the universe and it’s impossible to explain.

One thing that I was very aware of was that, while this happened during worship, and still am in this very moment, I was overwhelmed by His love for me. I was terrified, I was scared, I was shaken to the core, my world was flipped completely upside down, and I knew that He loved me. All during this ripping open process, I kept hearing Him say, “I love you. I’m doing this because I love you. Let me in, I love you. Let me have everything ounce, every inch of you. I love you.” And it shouldn’t surprise me at all, this is exactly what I’ve been asking for. This is exactly why I’m here. I want God to consume me. To fill every crack, to invade every part of me. But this was so not what I was expecting-in the best way possible. This is challenging everything I’ve ever known, everything I’ve ever thought. It’s like God re-introducing me to myself. He’s recreating me, and it’s unlike anything I’ve ever experienced. I don’t know what it all means, I have no idea what comes next...but I know this isn’t over. Oh no. This is just the beginning of something unimaginable. This is just a glimpse.

‘God, I don’t know what your doing. And I know I’m not supposed to. All I know is that you love me, and this is going to be the most challenging experience of my life. But you’re making me into someone I didn’t think I could ever be. You’re opening my eyes to things I thought I could never see. And I’m ready. I say Yes. Take every ounce, every inch, I don’t want it. Invade every part of my life, Jesus. I’m devastated by Your love.’

More about my life in Australia

Hey Guys! Just wanted to let you know what’s been going on lately. :)

Thursday (Feb 4th) after classes, I went to Elevate at 7:00pm. Elevate is a service done for the whole Creative Team at Hillsong--this includes both City and Hills campuses. Any student that is in one of the Creative streams (music, tv&media, dance, etc.) automatically becomes part of Hillsong’s Creative Team, so we were all at the service. Basically they just encouraged us to keep working in our gifts and finding ways to serve other through them. It was very inspiring.

Friday was United Night. This is where all the youth (ages 12-25) came together and had their weekly service. It was pretty rowdy and it seemed to go on forever... I it wasn’t my favorite service. But worship was good-as always!

Saturday I just stayed home. I decided to decorate and clean my room, record a new some, and do my devotions. It was such a peaceful day...

Sunday I had to be at church at 8am to meet with the Creative Kids team, where I’ll be doing my Fieldwork and Church Life, as a part of my studies. I’ll be helping with the worship in the kids services and doing some hands on stuff with the kids too. I’m really looking forward to it! Also, Sunday was Vision Sunday, where Pastor Brian shares with the church the vision for this next year. There was a very powerful video presentation that had a couple different testimonies from people in Hillsong Church. Basically our goal this year is to really live out Faith, Hope, and Love in our lives. We’re going to be doing some hands-on work in areas of poverty and working with people going through crisis here in our church. AND this year, Hillsong is working on planting another sister church in New York City! I’m SO excited about this. I can’t wait to see what God has planned.

The second week of intensives start tomorrow at 10:30am, I’m glad we’re not starting at 8:30 like last week. I’m really looking forward to my classes after intensives... Right now, all the first year students are all together. It will be nice to start working on more worship-specific things. But even the intensives have been really good.

So, everything is still wonderful! I still get homesick, but God is still showing up in the smallest of ways, and letting me know that He still cares about the details of my life. I’m not sure how long I’ll be here, but I know that I’m soaking up every second I can right now. I don’t want to miss out on a single thing God is going to do while I’m here. I’ve been praying for you all and I hope you’re all falling in love with Christ just as much as I am!

Powerhouse Summer Retreat and The Coming Year

Thursday-Saturday, of this past week, was Powerhouse Summer Retreat. It's basically where all the 18-25 year-olds, in our church and our sister churches, go to Central Coast and party! There's services every morning and every night, and during the day we go to the beach, or shopping, or whatever else we want.

I hung out with Letitia and her Connect Group--which has now become my Connect Group--and got to know them over the weekend. Absolutely beautiful people. We stayed in cute little cabins really close to the beach, and some of the cabins had a gorgeous view of the ocean. I stayed in a cabin with Letitia and four other girls from different churches. It was nice because everyone else's cabin was really close so we could hang out with the others from our group.

Each of the morning and night services featured a different speaker, including Thomas Hanson, who oversees the Powerhouse ministry. He's great, very funny, but full of the word and very straightforward. So, every night was wonderful and God really moved that weekend. Lives were changed-inside and out. Several people were healed of sickness, limbs were lengthened, the lame walked. God is so good.

God spoke to me on every night, but what He did on Friday really moved me. It was after the sermon and we were worshipping, I just had my eyes closed and pictured Jesus standing in front of me on the beach (That's my prayer closet, it's where I go, in my mind, when I spend time with God.) and I was just praying and singing. I could really feel His love and intense desire for intimacy with me. And I suddenly became very still. I stopped singing and swaying, I just stood and listened. And I saw and felt him take a step towards me, and into me. Because He is spirit, He just became a part of me as He stepped forward. And what I felt God tell me as this happened, was that He was filling the holes and voids in my life; He was replacing the broken parts and restoring strength. That He, Himself, would step into my pain and brokenness, and be my strength when I can't be strong. I was overwhelmed by the realization. I've so many times been told and believed that God was strong when we are weak, but that visual picture of Him physically stepping into me, and physically feeling a difference in my body and in my spirit, has given that promise a totally different meaning.

After retreat, I was exhausted. But on Sunday morning I was so excited to go to church! I woke up in the best mood, and was so ready to go spend yet another morning in worship, with my church family. And once again, it was so good. I'm so thankful for God's faithfulness. He's just proved Himself over and over again since I've been here. I can't wait to see what He does next!

Also, tomorrow is the first day of classes! I'm so excited! The first 2 weeks are just intensives, where all the new students stay together, in the same auditorium, and go over some general ministry stuff. It should be fun. I'll be in classes from 8:30am-5:30pm, Tuesday-Wednesday and then 9:00am-5:30pm on Thursday. I'm looking at my student calendar and it's full until the middle of February, and I'm realizing how quickly time is going to go. I'm so excited to be completely immersed in ministry, church life, and God's word. It's going to be a great year!

~~ Thank you, Jesus, for always being there...For being strong through my weakness, and perfect in my brokenness. I can't wait to fall more in love with you this year. Once again, I'm changed by you, into the person you want me to be. What a friend I've found... ~~

Come To Australia!

Hey Guys- This is a video about Australia, in case anybody wants to take vacation and come see me. :D

Enrollment Day!

So, today was enrollment and auditions at college. We went to the chapel, did some worship, listened to some speaking, and then they gave us a breakdown of what our year would look like. (How cool is it to go to a college where they start enrollment day with worship? =D )

After the initial greeting, we went over to the basement of the auditorium for the paperwork and boring details of the day. Basically for the next 2 hours, I stood in lines, filled out forms, and got my picture taken. But it wasn’t all bad, I met some really great people while I was standing in all these lines! Everyone is SO nice, staff included.

The musicians were separated from the other students, and Aaron puddle, the guy who oversees Worship and Creative Arts, told us about our program. We’ll be serving in various parts of the church, hearing lectures by several leaders, and working together as a worship team. And that’s only the beginning! I’m so excited!

Auditions went really well. We stood in line forever... It was like American Idol! But much less screaming and madness. We went in one at a time and sang with a pianist or a guitarist, and there were two judges watching. I sang Mighty To Save, they seemed to like it, and I felt pretty good about it.

So, finally around 4:15, I was done! I walked over to Gloria Jean’s Coffee and got a drink and something to eat. I ended up walking home with the girls that live across from me. Sweet people... It was sprinkling as we walked home, and after I was home it started thundering. I was in such a good mood!

I’m really happy to have all that behind me. Now I’m “officially” a college student, and I’m ready for the year to start. I can’t wait to learn and experience everything God has for me and my friends! It will be a good year, indeed.

God is so cool!

Good Morning! It’s Sunday morning and we’re getting ready to go to church. Lisa Bevere is speaking today, I can’t wait! Lana and I are jamming to Kirk Franklin while we’re waiting for the other girls to get ready. It finally rained yesterday, and it’s still rainy and overcast outside. I’m so happy!

Last night we went to the Saturday night service and heard John Bevere speak, it was so good. His sermon was titled “Honor’s Reward”, and he talked about how we can honor God and people in three ways: actions, words, and thought. He had us turn to 2 John 1:8- ‘Watch out that you do not lose what you have worked for, but that you may be rewarded fully.’ ***Which is great because 3 days ago, my family read 2 John for devotions and we always journal what speaks to us from that chapter. Mom, Dad, and I all chose that verse! So, I’ve got a journal entry from the 20th of January where God’s speaking to me about being fully rewarded, and John Bevere happens to come to Hillsong and preach on that subject! God is so cool!*** So anyways, John talked about how when we choose to honor God, and people, God will also honor us. But when we dishonor God, and people, God will not honor us and we won’t receive the reward that God intends for us to have. It definitely made me think about what I say, do, and even think, about God and my peers. It was really good.

So, this morning I’m really excited to hear what Lisa has to say, and to see what God has planned for today.

~ Lord, thank you for showing me that you know exactly where I am. You are so holy, God. ~

Making A Home

So, this morning I woke up around seven o'clock again, which is nice because everyone else is still asleep. I usually get up, make some coffee and sit in my hammock on the back patio. It's quite pleasant. There isn't much noise other than the birds singing. (They do seem to start singing a bit earlier in the mornings than American birds. =D) So mornings have been my favorite time of day so far, they're just so peaceful, and peace is something I cherish! Anyways, after coffee and talking to Clark and the family, I walked down to the shopping center across from campus (it's about a 30 minute walk), and I set up my Australian bank account. After that, I took the bus to Rouse Hill-a rather large shopping mall- where I had lunch with a couple girls from South Africa, whom I had met at the bus stop a half an hour before! It was fun. Then I went and bought a pre-paid phone, for emergencies and contacting my housemates. After getting that set up, I went and bought a 12-month plan for mobile broadband, so that I can have wireless internet wherever I go. :) I also bought a few more essentials like: hand soap, washcloths, coffee creamer (yes, that's an essential.), and sunscreen. I then took a bus, to another bus stop, in order to catch the bus that took me back home. Home. Yep, my home here in Glenwood. **Speaking of which, here's my address if anyone's interested: 3/3 Cavalry Grove, Glenwood, NSW 2768 Australia.** So, I'm sitting here at my dining room table, feeling the breeze through my screen door, listening to my washer gurgle, and knowing that this is home. More than that, Jesus is my home. So, please don't worry about me, I'm right where I should be--Home.

'Father, my home is you.' --Darryl Evans

I love you, Lord. :)

The Adventure Begins

Well, I’ve been in Australia for 2 days now and it’s been an interesting journey already...

Day 1- I landed in Sydney around 9:00am on Tuesday the 19th. I made my way through customs and found my baggage, then went through more security checks. I did pretty good, the only thing they confiscated was a bag of trail mix. So I pushed my huge cart of luggage out of the airport and around to where the taxis are and found a taxi. The driver informed me that he didn’t know where the McDonalds was and that I should’ve gotten an exact address. He asked around and ended up taking me to the one across from the domestic airport, a couple miles away. After hauling my luggage around McDonalds, I looked for the school shuttle and didn’t see anybody. My phone was dead and the internet wasn’t working, so I borrowed someone’s phone to call the school. I had to wait an hour before I could talk to someone, who told me I was at the wrong McDonalds but arranged for the shuttle to pick me up where I was. Finally I got the internet to work and I phoned my parents to let them know I as alive. They were relieved. When the shuttle got there, I was much less stressed and finally started to get excited about being here. I got to the school and met a bunch of new students, who helped me drop my luggage off at my house and took me shopping for some essentials. Very nice people indeed. After realizing that there wasn’t wireless internet at the school or the house-or anywhere really-I started to panic. I didn’t have a phone that worked, my only communication didn’t work because I didn’t have internet access! I had my first breakdown in the middle of the shopping mall, where Latesha (a girl I’m living with) told me that everything would be fine, that everyone feels like this at first, and that they were there for me. I was so thankful to have such supportive people. So, to close the day, the girls took me to Max Brenner’s Chocolate Cafe, which was marvelous I must say! But I was exhausted and extremely emotional so I was anticipating sleep. Finally around 11:30 I was able to go to bed.

Day 2- I woke up and used Tesha’s computer to research some internet options. After being thoroughly discouraged by that, I called Mom. As soon as I heard her voice I started crying, just as I had done each time before, and told her that I didn’t know what to do about the internet. She encouraged me, told me I was doing great and that we would get things figured out. She’s such a good Mom. I talked to Dad and Clark, and I cried with them too. I was so homesick... Tesha took me and another new student shopping for some food and other necessities. I ended up finding a wireless broadband plan that was affordable and only a 12 month contract. I was practically jumping for joy in the mall! We came home and my mattress was delivered, so I set up my bed, unpacked and organized my stuff. It was starting to feel like home already. I did devotions and read 2nd and 3rd John, and there was a verse that really spoke to me. It talked about not losing or missing out on what you’ve worked so hard to obtain. And I felt like God was saying that I couldn’t let my sorrow or worry deprive me of the beautiful opportunity and life He’s given me here. He was so right. Last night we went to Powerhouse, which is the weekly gather for 18-25 year-olds, here at Hillsong Church. I stood, finally having arrived at Hillsong, singing the songs I’ve been singing for the last 6 months in anticipation of coming. And I knew that I was exactly where I needed to be. The speaker talked about The Making Of A Warrior, how they don’t give up, they need to step up, and they need to have a cause. They have to be willing to leave their surroundings, and choose to be set apart for Christ-It was just what I needed to hear. At the end, the speaker asked if there was something we were holding onto that we needed to let go of so we could step up and live out God’s call on our lives. For me, I was holding on to the past, to my family and friends, and the comforts of my surroundings. So I gave those things to God. I chose to let go of my uncertainties and instead, I’m choosing to trust in Him for all things. Whether that be food, transportation, comfort, or internet connection; He is a faithful God. He is faithful to finish was He’s started in me!

It’s 8:44am on Thursday morning, and today, Day 3, is 10 times better than Day 1. I’m sitting in my hammock, on our back patio, in Baulkham Hills, Australia. Finally, happy, excited, and ever so sure of God’s hand on my life and His spirit inside of me. And so, the adventure begins.

~ Jesus, I thank you for your faithfulness. You are my ever present help in times of trouble. I can’t wait to see what you have in store for me over these next 10 months. With you is where I belong, and I’ve never been happier to be running hand in hand with you, towards my destiny. Let’s do this! ~