Tear Down The Walls

Welcome! Let's begin.

In my last post I mentioned the beginning of something God was starting in me. I said the only thing I knew for sure what that He said, "I'm broadening your vision." That was almost a month ago. A couple weeks ago I spent some time praying, asking God to reveal more or clarify what that meant. I felt like He added to the previous statement and said, "I'm broadening your vision so that you can be free..." I thought, 'Okay. Freedom is good. Still a very broad statement.' So I accepted it and asked the Holy Spirit to continue to bring understanding.

Over the last week, I've really had the youth group on my heart, and a couple kids in particular. And I've had the opportunities to encourage them, build them up and spur them on. I've been so content during the week, and I felt God say that I was content because I was learning to 'get my eyes off myself'. That's a concept and principle that we hear a lot here, and seems easy enough, but I felt like I really understood it this week. It was good to feel like I'm getting it. This whole idea of 'getting my eyes off myself' fit right in with 'broadening my vision' and I immediately understood that God was adding depth to that statement.

Yesterday morning I sat down to do my devotions and God gave me complete closure and clarity. I was journalling about how my heart and mind was focused on youth and ministry over the last week, and I ended up flipping to 2 Corinthians 4. Paul talks about his ministry and the sacrifices he made for the sake of the people he would reach. I really related to his heart for the ministry, and wanted that same passion and commitment that Paul had. At the end of the chapter is one of my favorite sets of verses:

"Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."

And again, I felt like 'fixing my eyes on the unseen' was part of broadening my vision.

The more I journaled and listened for more clarity, God finished the statement by releasing me into ministry in the next season of my life. He explained himself through one of my favorite Hillsong songs, "Tear Down The Walls". The song basically summarized every He was saying to me. And I felt like it defined what He had done in me over this year. He gave me this statement that tied my year together. He really gave me closure to this season and I really understand what His goal was for me this year.

"I'm broadening your vision, so that you can be free to tear down the walls."

This made so much sense to me. During the first part of this year, God tore down so many walls inside of me. He went deep and dealt with walls that were put up a long time ago. The last part of this year, He's been preparing and equipping me to return to ministry; to help tear down walls in the people around me.

I, in no way, have things figured out, but I have so much understanding of this year's significance in my life, and so much peace about the next season. Whatever 'tearing down the walls' looks like, I'm ready to embrace what God sends my way. This is only the beginning!

Wings Like Eagles

It just keeps getting better! I am going to do my best to verbalize what I've experienced over this weekend, but I'm certain it will in no way come close to the real thing.

The weekend was Hillsong's youth conference called "Encounter". It's a weekend put together for all three youth ministries in the church: Fuel(jr.high), Wildlife(high school), and Powerhouse(college age). They have if here at the Hills campus in our main auditorium. They completely transform the place to a youth getaway, with everything from food, bumper cars, mechanical bulls, and live music. I'd been hearing about Encounter all month, but the advertisement didn't do a great job of explaining exactly what was going on, so I wasn't planning on going. However, God had other plans, as He often does. Through a series of unpredictable events, conversations, and decisions, I found myself at church at 9:00am for the first of the morning sessions.

We found seats and enjoyed the pre-service entertainment(some comedic improve done by 4 or 5 of the youth leaders.). I sat back and watched as approx. 1000 young people trickled into the auditorium for the first session. About 10 minutes before the service kicked off, the room when pitch black and a dance remix of "Thunderstuck" by ACDC screamed from the sound system. Strobe lights pulsed and illuminated the jumping, moshing, masses of youth that filled the floor. I was delighted and thought to myself, "THIS is how you do a youth conference!" And it was only the beginning...

What happened over the next 3 days was completely surprising, overwhelming, and exhilarating. It's a bit of a blur now, but the things I walked away with are crystal clear.

I've felt a freedom this weekend that I haven't felt since I've been here. I've been freed in different areas, to various degrees throughout this year, but this weekend was a new level of freedom. The combination of the faith and expectancy in that place, God's thick, tangible presence, and my acute awareness of my limited time here, created the perfect storm - in the best way. Even now, just thinking and writing about it, I can't help but be moved by God's blessing in this season of my life.

There's so many little things that God did that I couldn't even begin to outline, but here's a couple big ones that God spoke clearly over the weekend:

1. This season will be a season of New Things.

'This season' meaning my return home, my new beginning, after this year in Australia. I've been praying and preparing my heart and mind to leave this place and return home. But I've known, without a doubt, that I won't be simply returning to my old life, but starting something new, somewhere familiar. God confirmed this at the conference and poured out even more faith and confidence in what He's going to do next. I believe that what we're seeing now in our church, our youth ministry,and our city, is only the beginning of God's plan.

2. He's broadening my vision.

During one of the night sessions, he placed a couple different things on my heart. I found myself heavily burdened and praying about these things with a passion that wasn't there before. As I walked away that night, I felt two things in my spirit: (1) He's broadening my vision, (2) He's increasing my capacity. And I definitely see the areas that he's doing that it, and I'm excited to see that outworked in my life. I felt like I was getting just a glimpse of what He sees and being broken by what breaks His heart. That's exactly what I want!

So those are just a couple things that I have on my heart, and am praying about. I don't know exactly what all of it means or looks like yet, but I believe it's the start of something in me that's new and challenging, in the best way. I love doing life with Christ. How could it get any better than this? I can't imagine what Heaven is going to be like...

"Then the Lord replied: 'Write down the revelation

and make it plain on tablets,

so that whoever reads it may run with it.

For the revelation awaits an appointed time.

It speaks of the end and will not prove false.

Though it linger, wait for it;

it will certainly come and will not delay.' "

-Habakkuk 2

This scripture is one that has inspired me to record the things that God shows or speaks in my life. I realize the context of the Old Testament is where this verse fits, but God has used it in my life, encouraging me to write down what He's doing in me. I love how The Message version puts it:

And then God answered: "Write this.
Write what you see.
Write it out in big block letters
so that it can be read on the run.
This vision-message is a witness
pointing to what's coming.
It aches for the coming—it can hardly wait!
And it doesn't lie.
If it seems slow in coming, wait.

It's on its way. It will come right on time.

Waiting is the hardest. But He renews my strength in the waiting! And soaring on wings like eagles sounds pretty good to me. :)