In my last post I mentioned the beginning of something God was starting in me. I said the only thing I knew for sure what that He said, "I'm broadening your vision." That was almost a month ago. A couple weeks ago I spent some time praying, asking God to reveal more or clarify what that meant. I felt like He added to the previous statement and said, "I'm broadening your vision so that you can be free..." I thought, 'Okay. Freedom is good. Still a very broad statement.' So I accepted it and asked the Holy Spirit to continue to bring understanding.
Over the last week, I've really had the youth group on my heart, and a couple kids in particular. And I've had the opportunities to encourage them, build them up and spur them on. I've been so content during the week, and I felt God say that I was content because I was learning to 'get my eyes off myself'. That's a concept and principle that we hear a lot here, and seems easy enough, but I felt like I really understood it this week. It was good to feel like I'm getting it. This whole idea of 'getting my eyes off myself' fit right in with 'broadening my vision' and I immediately understood that God was adding depth to that statement.
Yesterday morning I sat down to do my devotions and God gave me complete closure and clarity. I was journalling about how my heart and mind was focused on youth and ministry over the last week, and I ended up flipping to 2 Corinthians 4. Paul talks about his ministry and the sacrifices he made for the sake of the people he would reach. I really related to his heart for the ministry, and wanted that same passion and commitment that Paul had. At the end of the chapter is one of my favorite sets of verses:
"Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."
And again, I felt like 'fixing my eyes on the unseen' was part of broadening my vision.
The more I journaled and listened for more clarity, God finished the statement by releasing me into ministry in the next season of my life. He explained himself through one of my favorite Hillsong songs, "Tear Down The Walls". The song basically summarized every He was saying to me. And I felt like it defined what He had done in me over this year. He gave me this statement that tied my year together. He really gave me closure to this season and I really understand what His goal was for me this year.
"I'm broadening your vision, so that you can be free to tear down the walls."
This made so much sense to me. During the first part of this year, God tore down so many walls inside of me. He went deep and dealt with walls that were put up a long time ago. The last part of this year, He's been preparing and equipping me to return to ministry; to help tear down walls in the people around me.
I, in no way, have things figured out, but I have so much understanding of this year's significance in my life, and so much peace about the next season. Whatever 'tearing down the walls' looks like, I'm ready to embrace what God sends my way. This is only the beginning!
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