I've figured out...

I've figured out that I have this problem with blogging... Every time I go to post something new, I can't figure out where to start! It's only been a month since my last post but so much has happened - as it does here at Hillsong. How about we start shallow and work our way deeper?

Life is good! School is still as wonderful as ever. I still love my classes (with the exception of one) and still look forward to every lecture. Brilliant people they have working here... Musically, I've got my performance this coming Monday! I was crazy stressed about it last week, but after God did the whole, "Brianna. Chill." thing... I'm good. See, I've recognized the pattern of my thinking, and I'm working on "renewing my mind" (Rom. 12:2). It's a process, but I'm getting better. When it comes to conflict - internal or external - in my life, I tend to worry way too much, emotionally wreck myself, and expect my little mind to work things out. Later, I realize that there's no need for that when God has things under control. I could be using all that wasted energy to fan into flame the gift of God that's in me! (2 Tim. 1:6) Which brings me to my next point...(too many lectures and sermons! haha)

I've figured out that I'm not here for music. In a sense, I knew that when I came, but I'm finding more and more that music is just one of the benefits of being here. And I know as I continue to stretch and grow, I will know even more that I am here for something much bigger than music. (It's that whole, "We are saved, and we are being saved. We are healed, and we are being healed." thing. I knew, I know and I will know!) When I tell people that, some of them get a little confused and ask, "well what are you here for?" I laugh... I just say: "Open heart surgery. I came to Australia for open heart surgery." And that is so true. Oh, and brain surgery too! It's the most incredible experience. God did it as soon as I got here and He's doing it everyday... It's like, each day God breaks through another mindset, smashes another attitude, and destroys one more of those little boxes I try to put Him in. I told my housemate, "I'm wearing skinny jeans and converse, I stopped drinking coffee, and I say 'No Worries'...What's happened me?!" haha And that's the beauty of it - from mindsets to style: I'm recreating myself. Actually, I'm not recreating myself, I'm just learning how to be the woman God created me to be all along.

There's actually heaps more to tell... (They say heaps here in Australia, did I tell you that? Heaps and Loads. And they say Ta, which is short for Thank You...I like that one.) I'll try to write more soon. Less TV, more blogging!

Oh and one more thing, it's COLD here! It's Australia, no I didn't bring a winter coat! I plan to buy one soon.

So friends, rejoice in the Lord always!

:)

~ Lord Jesus, you're brilliant. If only I could write something so powerful and unique as what you're doing in me. I love you. Help me to be the woman you've uncovered, the one you've always intended for me to be... I like her. All for you, and you alone. Ta Daddy. ~

An Inheritance

I'm in the middle of reading the book of Joshua in the Old testament, and after doing my devotions today, I thought I'd write a little about what I'm learning from Joshua.

So, first off, I just so admire Joshua. He's appointed to lead the Israelites after Moses passes on, and he steps right up into leadership, without question or hesitation. One thing we see God speak to Joshua several times is: "Be strong and courageous." Moses says this to him when he appoints him as leader, and then the Lord speaks it to him several times throughout his life. This is something that has always stood out to me. We don't see Joshua panicking or questioning God, but God is constantly telling him to be strong and courageous. God reminds him repeatedly that He is with him, and that He will never leave or forsake him. God promises those same things to us, only if we would walk in the same kind of faith and trust that Joshua did! It's something I'm learning to do... When we take God at His word, and live without fear, we will see God's promises come alive in our lives.

Another group of people I'm learning from is the Levites. The Levites were set apart in the tribes of Israel as an offering to the Lord; to do the work in the Tent of Meeting(the Tabernacle). It was very high calling. We see in Numbers 8 where the Lord has Moses dedicate the Levites. He presents them as an offering to the Lord--not a burnt offering--but a wave offering.

**A wave offering was something done to accompany the peace offering. If was the offering of the first fruits, that was to be presented("waved" before God) and viewed as holy unto God. It was done, almost as a gift unto God, because of His covenant and communion with the people.**

So for the Levites to be presented as a wave offering to God, was to say - "These are our best men, set apart as holy, to serve Christ." What a honor! It was a high calling to work in the Tabernacle. I was thinking about this because personally I've felt called to ministry in the church, and it's what I'm learning and growing in while I'm here. As I was reading Joshua today, I was reading the sections where Joshua is dividing the land among the tribes, and this is what it say's about the tribe of Levi:

Joshua 18:7 -- "The Levites, however, do not get a portion among you, because the priestly service of the Lord is their inheritance."

I posted a blog last year on "Other's May; You Cannot." and that verse reminded me of it. It talks about how those in ministry are held to a higher standard and, as we often do with God's word, we see it as law instead of freedom. We see the things we can't do and can't have, instead of realizing everything we get to do and have! What a wrong way of thinking! As I read this in Joshua today, I just repented before God for the times when I view ministry as a burden or duty. It's the high calling of God; it's our inheritance!

I never want to get to the place where I feel like serving God is something I have to do, but instead always seeing it as an honor; an inheritance. How amazing is God, that He would choose us-finite, imperfect, human beings-to join Him in His work. He calls us to be holy, as He is holy; to be set apart, as He is set apart. What an honor! I'll take that over anything the world has to offer, any day.

So, those are just my thoughts. I'd love to hear yours! :)

This Is Life

Hey Guys! It's April 16th, I've been gone almost 3 months now and I'm surviving just fine! Who knew... haha :)

The past couple of weeks have been wonderful. Classes are still going great, each lecture is brilliant and I'm still learning SO much. Some days I'm not sure I'm retaining everything... It's a bit overwhelming because you've got the normal school/class schedule, plus church & evening meetings, plus your weekly fieldwork...all the while, God's doing open heart surgery! It's a bit crazy, but completely amazing.

On Monday, my class had our first performance day. Each of us had to sing a song (some did lead and some did background) and then our tutorial leaders assessed us. I was a background vocalist this time, and everything went great! The girl that did the lead vocal was fantastic, so she was super easy to work with. Wednesday, we switched the lead and background vocals, so now we get a go at leading a song. I'm singing a song called "Breathe Slow", we've got very limited rehearsal time, so it should be interesting... but the band and my backing vocalists are great, so it should be a lot of fun!

Recently I've been reading Revelation and God's been talking to me about intimacy and the Fear of the Lord. It's been really good. God keeps revealing himself in different ways, and our relationship has grown leaps and bounds. I've been especially impacted by my Old Testament class. I love unpacking the scriptures; seeing God's plan outworked hrough history and discovering God's character. It's incredible how God is still that same God today.

Other than that, I'm getting really excited for my family coming in July!! It's really close, and we've got some fun things planned. It will be so good to see them! In regards to being homesick, I'm doing so much better! I'm definitely more comfortable and I absolutely adore the friends I've made. I think I'm finally getting the hang of living in the "Now". It's good... God's really given me a peace about things, and a growing joy of being here and purposely seeking Him.

I hope all is well in each of your worlds! I miss and love you all, as always. Thanks for all the prayers and support, I really wouldn't be here without them!

"The Lord bless you and keep you;

the Lord make his face shine upon you

and be gracious to you;

the Lord turn his face toward you and give you peace."

-- Numbers 6:24-26

The Cornerstone

Well I haven't posted anything lately-sorry about that. Things have been crazy here! Let's see...

Three weeks ago we had the first of our 2 Colour Conferences, which are women's conferences put on by Hillsong and hosted by Bobbie Houston. All the college students served in the first conference, which we had in the Sydney Entertainment Centre, and I served in HMA (Hillsong Music Australia). Basically, I had to manage a table of journals and bibles from our Resource Center, it wasn't too hard of a job. I was very tired though, we would catch the bus from here in Glenwood at 6:30am and got home between 10:00-11:00pm, and then get up and do it all over again the next day! It really was good though, the women [all 11,000 of them =) ]so appreciated our service. It was great to see all kinds of women from across the world, come together to receive a vision for this year and be equipped spiritually to change their world.

The following weekend we had the second conference, which we held here in our Convention Centre at church, and there were about 5,000 women this time. The 1st year college girls got to attend the 2nd conference! It was so nice to be able to dress up, relax under umbrellas on the lawn, and just be with friends. The whole 2 weeks was a great experience.

Last week we got back to regular classes and everybody was pretty happy. In college, we're spit up into Tutorial Groups, so there's about 20-25 people in a class, and I absolutely love my tutorial. We're used to being together everyday, so being spread out for 2 weeks seemed like an eternity! So when classes started back up, everyone was really glad to see each other.

God's just teaching me so much. I feel like I've been stretched, changed and learned more in these last 2 1/2 months than I have in my whole life! There's been hard moments and God's still pointing out areas that I need to work on, issues having to do with trust and submission, in particular. Things that He's been working in me for the last 3 years... It's a process, but such a good one. One thing that really got my attention was at Sunday night church, on March 14th. Priscilla Shirer was preaching (She's brilliant!) and she read Matthew 21:42, where Jesus talks about the stone the builder's rejected becoming the cornerstone. She was saying that the hard times in our lives-the 'stones'- will teach us foundational truths. And in that moment, I felt God say to me, "Your time here will be the cornerstone for the rest of your life.", and it really got my attention. It's actually been really hard being here, and I always knew that this experience would forever alter my life... but after God specifically spoke this to me, I realized how crucial it was that I pay attention and engage in what God's doing right here in this season of my life. So over the last couple weeks I've been doing my best to really live in the 'now' and learn and grow in every way I can. It's been so good. I still have my moments, but my perspective has changed a lot, and I'm really looking forward to what God will do in and around me in these next 8 months.

There's been so much more, but I couldn't possibly write everything that has changed in me or everything that God is doing or speaking. It has been such an amazing experience so far. I'm really looking forward to coming home, but I'm more looking forward to the changed person I'll be when I get there. =)

My Cause and God's Faithfulness

Well I suppose it's time for a blog update! Here's so stuff that I did today in my Music Excellence Tutorial. It was really good... She just had us think about our lives and our Cause. Then we journaled what we were felt God was saying, or what we felt was our personal Cause and mission. She didn't want us to use The Great Commission or our Cause as Christians in general, but more of a personal statement that says what I am about. So here's some things I journaled...

My Cause

The Love Of Christ--To live in it, to reciprocate it, and to help people discover it.

My Cause effects the decisions I make on a momentary basis. I decide in the conversations I have, the way I greet and look at people, the way I act or react--they’re all done with the intent to accomplish My Cause.

My primary role in fulfilling my cause is to be the love of Christ to others. To be patient, kind, understanding. I think worship is a part of that. I believe that ‘helping people discover’ the love of Christ is often done through worship.

My Mission Statement:

*To love people unconditionally; to live my life so in love with Christ, that it causes them to want to fall in love with Him too.*

My tutorial leader told us that our mission statement and the different parts of our Cause will change over time. So, these things will be tweaked over the years, but I feel like it's a pretty good start.

**On Sunday I was a mess. I was ready to buy a plan ticket and go home. At church on Sunday night there was a guys-Clarence-who spoke into my life. He was in the row in front of me and he saw that I was upset, and began to tell me that I was here for a reason, and that the enemy would do anything he could to keep me from that. He just encouraged me and told me that I had a new family now, that these people have been placed in my life to hold me up and love me.

On Monday morning I was still homesick after talking with the family and Clark before school. While I was walking to school I was praying and just letting God have all my fears and sorrows, I kept saying that I wasn’t going to worry about it, and I just gave it to Him. I began singing the song, “The Battle Belongs To The Lord” and started speaking that over my life. I just began letting go of the things that were holding me down.

On Tuesday, during chapel, one of the student had 3 minutes to “Bring On The Glory” and she spoke on God fighting for us, and how the battle belongs to the Lord. :) Then on Tuesday night, during Sisterhood United Night, Bobbie spoke on some things that God had been telling her. One of which was a scripture out of 2 Chronicles 20:22-”As they began to sing and praise, the Lord set ambushes against the men...” And she said that God had said that the battle is not ours to fight. That we are to worship, and pray, and lean into His presence, and He will fight for us.

So God confirmed twice, what He was speaking to me on Monday. He is so good! I cease to be amazed at His faithfulness. And I’m always blown away that He cares about our smallest of needs... My God is truly breathtaking. So, I’m doing much better now. I know I’m bound to have my days, and trails are certain to arise, but just as certain as these hard times will come, I am certain that He is faithful. He is faithful to deliver me. He fights for me.

‘Jesus, I will never understand why you love me so much, or why you would choose to fight for me. I’m so glad you do. I’m falling for you, more and more, with each passing moment.’

2 Chron. 20:15 - “...This is what The Lord says to you, ‘Do not be afraid or discouraged because of this vast army. For the battle is not your’s, but God’s.’...”

Devastated

I am completely devastated by Christ’s love. I’ve just experienced something... I can’t explain it. I don’t know what it’s about, or what God’s doing. But I don’t think I’ve ever felt or understood God in such a powerful way.

There really aren’t words. For chapel today, we did hymns and no preaching. It was all hymns. And God started doing something... I don’t know what that something is. It’s like He started tearing open my heart, my soul, my spirit and just started tearing away everything. He’s shredding everything I’ve ever know, everything I’ve ever thought...It’s like He’s rebuilding, reshaping. And I’ve never felt more pain, sorrow, joy, remorse, excitement, fear, in my life. I don’t know what He’s doing, and I’m not sure what everything means yet. But something monumental changed in me today.

There’s two things that He made clear to me, and incredibly clear... The first is that He’s taking everything I’ve ever known and tearing it apart. He’s doing open heart surgery, He’s uncovering the deepest parts of me that I never knew existed, He’s penetrating to the very core of my being. And all because HE LOVES ME. He’s ripping out every idea, every way of thinking, every sin, every soul tie, every hurt and fear, and He’s refilling. He’s remodeling. He’s pushing through to the very essence of who I am and changing everything, and it’s breathtaking.

The second thing that’s is crystal clear to me is that, He’s about to show me a completely different side of Himself. I don’t know what it is yet.. but I know today was just a glimpse-He made that clear, it’s just a glimpse-of this new side, this new thing He’s doing. But there’s so much more... There’s something going on deep below the surface and I can’t quite grasp what it is. What it is, it’s changing me in every way it possibly could. It’s like I have no idea about anything anymore. I’ve completely ripped open by the creator of the universe and it’s impossible to explain.

One thing that I was very aware of was that, while this happened during worship, and still am in this very moment, I was overwhelmed by His love for me. I was terrified, I was scared, I was shaken to the core, my world was flipped completely upside down, and I knew that He loved me. All during this ripping open process, I kept hearing Him say, “I love you. I’m doing this because I love you. Let me in, I love you. Let me have everything ounce, every inch of you. I love you.” And it shouldn’t surprise me at all, this is exactly what I’ve been asking for. This is exactly why I’m here. I want God to consume me. To fill every crack, to invade every part of me. But this was so not what I was expecting-in the best way possible. This is challenging everything I’ve ever known, everything I’ve ever thought. It’s like God re-introducing me to myself. He’s recreating me, and it’s unlike anything I’ve ever experienced. I don’t know what it all means, I have no idea what comes next...but I know this isn’t over. Oh no. This is just the beginning of something unimaginable. This is just a glimpse.

‘God, I don’t know what your doing. And I know I’m not supposed to. All I know is that you love me, and this is going to be the most challenging experience of my life. But you’re making me into someone I didn’t think I could ever be. You’re opening my eyes to things I thought I could never see. And I’m ready. I say Yes. Take every ounce, every inch, I don’t want it. Invade every part of my life, Jesus. I’m devastated by Your love.’

More about my life in Australia

Hey Guys! Just wanted to let you know what’s been going on lately. :)

Thursday (Feb 4th) after classes, I went to Elevate at 7:00pm. Elevate is a service done for the whole Creative Team at Hillsong--this includes both City and Hills campuses. Any student that is in one of the Creative streams (music, tv&media, dance, etc.) automatically becomes part of Hillsong’s Creative Team, so we were all at the service. Basically they just encouraged us to keep working in our gifts and finding ways to serve other through them. It was very inspiring.

Friday was United Night. This is where all the youth (ages 12-25) came together and had their weekly service. It was pretty rowdy and it seemed to go on forever... I it wasn’t my favorite service. But worship was good-as always!

Saturday I just stayed home. I decided to decorate and clean my room, record a new some, and do my devotions. It was such a peaceful day...

Sunday I had to be at church at 8am to meet with the Creative Kids team, where I’ll be doing my Fieldwork and Church Life, as a part of my studies. I’ll be helping with the worship in the kids services and doing some hands on stuff with the kids too. I’m really looking forward to it! Also, Sunday was Vision Sunday, where Pastor Brian shares with the church the vision for this next year. There was a very powerful video presentation that had a couple different testimonies from people in Hillsong Church. Basically our goal this year is to really live out Faith, Hope, and Love in our lives. We’re going to be doing some hands-on work in areas of poverty and working with people going through crisis here in our church. AND this year, Hillsong is working on planting another sister church in New York City! I’m SO excited about this. I can’t wait to see what God has planned.

The second week of intensives start tomorrow at 10:30am, I’m glad we’re not starting at 8:30 like last week. I’m really looking forward to my classes after intensives... Right now, all the first year students are all together. It will be nice to start working on more worship-specific things. But even the intensives have been really good.

So, everything is still wonderful! I still get homesick, but God is still showing up in the smallest of ways, and letting me know that He still cares about the details of my life. I’m not sure how long I’ll be here, but I know that I’m soaking up every second I can right now. I don’t want to miss out on a single thing God is going to do while I’m here. I’ve been praying for you all and I hope you’re all falling in love with Christ just as much as I am!