My Cause and God's Faithfulness

Well I suppose it's time for a blog update! Here's so stuff that I did today in my Music Excellence Tutorial. It was really good... She just had us think about our lives and our Cause. Then we journaled what we were felt God was saying, or what we felt was our personal Cause and mission. She didn't want us to use The Great Commission or our Cause as Christians in general, but more of a personal statement that says what I am about. So here's some things I journaled...

My Cause

The Love Of Christ--To live in it, to reciprocate it, and to help people discover it.

My Cause effects the decisions I make on a momentary basis. I decide in the conversations I have, the way I greet and look at people, the way I act or react--they’re all done with the intent to accomplish My Cause.

My primary role in fulfilling my cause is to be the love of Christ to others. To be patient, kind, understanding. I think worship is a part of that. I believe that ‘helping people discover’ the love of Christ is often done through worship.

My Mission Statement:

*To love people unconditionally; to live my life so in love with Christ, that it causes them to want to fall in love with Him too.*

My tutorial leader told us that our mission statement and the different parts of our Cause will change over time. So, these things will be tweaked over the years, but I feel like it's a pretty good start.

**On Sunday I was a mess. I was ready to buy a plan ticket and go home. At church on Sunday night there was a guys-Clarence-who spoke into my life. He was in the row in front of me and he saw that I was upset, and began to tell me that I was here for a reason, and that the enemy would do anything he could to keep me from that. He just encouraged me and told me that I had a new family now, that these people have been placed in my life to hold me up and love me.

On Monday morning I was still homesick after talking with the family and Clark before school. While I was walking to school I was praying and just letting God have all my fears and sorrows, I kept saying that I wasn’t going to worry about it, and I just gave it to Him. I began singing the song, “The Battle Belongs To The Lord” and started speaking that over my life. I just began letting go of the things that were holding me down.

On Tuesday, during chapel, one of the student had 3 minutes to “Bring On The Glory” and she spoke on God fighting for us, and how the battle belongs to the Lord. :) Then on Tuesday night, during Sisterhood United Night, Bobbie spoke on some things that God had been telling her. One of which was a scripture out of 2 Chronicles 20:22-”As they began to sing and praise, the Lord set ambushes against the men...” And she said that God had said that the battle is not ours to fight. That we are to worship, and pray, and lean into His presence, and He will fight for us.

So God confirmed twice, what He was speaking to me on Monday. He is so good! I cease to be amazed at His faithfulness. And I’m always blown away that He cares about our smallest of needs... My God is truly breathtaking. So, I’m doing much better now. I know I’m bound to have my days, and trails are certain to arise, but just as certain as these hard times will come, I am certain that He is faithful. He is faithful to deliver me. He fights for me.

‘Jesus, I will never understand why you love me so much, or why you would choose to fight for me. I’m so glad you do. I’m falling for you, more and more, with each passing moment.’

2 Chron. 20:15 - “...This is what The Lord says to you, ‘Do not be afraid or discouraged because of this vast army. For the battle is not your’s, but God’s.’...”

Devastated

I am completely devastated by Christ’s love. I’ve just experienced something... I can’t explain it. I don’t know what it’s about, or what God’s doing. But I don’t think I’ve ever felt or understood God in such a powerful way.

There really aren’t words. For chapel today, we did hymns and no preaching. It was all hymns. And God started doing something... I don’t know what that something is. It’s like He started tearing open my heart, my soul, my spirit and just started tearing away everything. He’s shredding everything I’ve ever know, everything I’ve ever thought...It’s like He’s rebuilding, reshaping. And I’ve never felt more pain, sorrow, joy, remorse, excitement, fear, in my life. I don’t know what He’s doing, and I’m not sure what everything means yet. But something monumental changed in me today.

There’s two things that He made clear to me, and incredibly clear... The first is that He’s taking everything I’ve ever known and tearing it apart. He’s doing open heart surgery, He’s uncovering the deepest parts of me that I never knew existed, He’s penetrating to the very core of my being. And all because HE LOVES ME. He’s ripping out every idea, every way of thinking, every sin, every soul tie, every hurt and fear, and He’s refilling. He’s remodeling. He’s pushing through to the very essence of who I am and changing everything, and it’s breathtaking.

The second thing that’s is crystal clear to me is that, He’s about to show me a completely different side of Himself. I don’t know what it is yet.. but I know today was just a glimpse-He made that clear, it’s just a glimpse-of this new side, this new thing He’s doing. But there’s so much more... There’s something going on deep below the surface and I can’t quite grasp what it is. What it is, it’s changing me in every way it possibly could. It’s like I have no idea about anything anymore. I’ve completely ripped open by the creator of the universe and it’s impossible to explain.

One thing that I was very aware of was that, while this happened during worship, and still am in this very moment, I was overwhelmed by His love for me. I was terrified, I was scared, I was shaken to the core, my world was flipped completely upside down, and I knew that He loved me. All during this ripping open process, I kept hearing Him say, “I love you. I’m doing this because I love you. Let me in, I love you. Let me have everything ounce, every inch of you. I love you.” And it shouldn’t surprise me at all, this is exactly what I’ve been asking for. This is exactly why I’m here. I want God to consume me. To fill every crack, to invade every part of me. But this was so not what I was expecting-in the best way possible. This is challenging everything I’ve ever known, everything I’ve ever thought. It’s like God re-introducing me to myself. He’s recreating me, and it’s unlike anything I’ve ever experienced. I don’t know what it all means, I have no idea what comes next...but I know this isn’t over. Oh no. This is just the beginning of something unimaginable. This is just a glimpse.

‘God, I don’t know what your doing. And I know I’m not supposed to. All I know is that you love me, and this is going to be the most challenging experience of my life. But you’re making me into someone I didn’t think I could ever be. You’re opening my eyes to things I thought I could never see. And I’m ready. I say Yes. Take every ounce, every inch, I don’t want it. Invade every part of my life, Jesus. I’m devastated by Your love.’

More about my life in Australia

Hey Guys! Just wanted to let you know what’s been going on lately. :)

Thursday (Feb 4th) after classes, I went to Elevate at 7:00pm. Elevate is a service done for the whole Creative Team at Hillsong--this includes both City and Hills campuses. Any student that is in one of the Creative streams (music, tv&media, dance, etc.) automatically becomes part of Hillsong’s Creative Team, so we were all at the service. Basically they just encouraged us to keep working in our gifts and finding ways to serve other through them. It was very inspiring.

Friday was United Night. This is where all the youth (ages 12-25) came together and had their weekly service. It was pretty rowdy and it seemed to go on forever... I it wasn’t my favorite service. But worship was good-as always!

Saturday I just stayed home. I decided to decorate and clean my room, record a new some, and do my devotions. It was such a peaceful day...

Sunday I had to be at church at 8am to meet with the Creative Kids team, where I’ll be doing my Fieldwork and Church Life, as a part of my studies. I’ll be helping with the worship in the kids services and doing some hands on stuff with the kids too. I’m really looking forward to it! Also, Sunday was Vision Sunday, where Pastor Brian shares with the church the vision for this next year. There was a very powerful video presentation that had a couple different testimonies from people in Hillsong Church. Basically our goal this year is to really live out Faith, Hope, and Love in our lives. We’re going to be doing some hands-on work in areas of poverty and working with people going through crisis here in our church. AND this year, Hillsong is working on planting another sister church in New York City! I’m SO excited about this. I can’t wait to see what God has planned.

The second week of intensives start tomorrow at 10:30am, I’m glad we’re not starting at 8:30 like last week. I’m really looking forward to my classes after intensives... Right now, all the first year students are all together. It will be nice to start working on more worship-specific things. But even the intensives have been really good.

So, everything is still wonderful! I still get homesick, but God is still showing up in the smallest of ways, and letting me know that He still cares about the details of my life. I’m not sure how long I’ll be here, but I know that I’m soaking up every second I can right now. I don’t want to miss out on a single thing God is going to do while I’m here. I’ve been praying for you all and I hope you’re all falling in love with Christ just as much as I am!

Powerhouse Summer Retreat and The Coming Year

Thursday-Saturday, of this past week, was Powerhouse Summer Retreat. It's basically where all the 18-25 year-olds, in our church and our sister churches, go to Central Coast and party! There's services every morning and every night, and during the day we go to the beach, or shopping, or whatever else we want.

I hung out with Letitia and her Connect Group--which has now become my Connect Group--and got to know them over the weekend. Absolutely beautiful people. We stayed in cute little cabins really close to the beach, and some of the cabins had a gorgeous view of the ocean. I stayed in a cabin with Letitia and four other girls from different churches. It was nice because everyone else's cabin was really close so we could hang out with the others from our group.

Each of the morning and night services featured a different speaker, including Thomas Hanson, who oversees the Powerhouse ministry. He's great, very funny, but full of the word and very straightforward. So, every night was wonderful and God really moved that weekend. Lives were changed-inside and out. Several people were healed of sickness, limbs were lengthened, the lame walked. God is so good.

God spoke to me on every night, but what He did on Friday really moved me. It was after the sermon and we were worshipping, I just had my eyes closed and pictured Jesus standing in front of me on the beach (That's my prayer closet, it's where I go, in my mind, when I spend time with God.) and I was just praying and singing. I could really feel His love and intense desire for intimacy with me. And I suddenly became very still. I stopped singing and swaying, I just stood and listened. And I saw and felt him take a step towards me, and into me. Because He is spirit, He just became a part of me as He stepped forward. And what I felt God tell me as this happened, was that He was filling the holes and voids in my life; He was replacing the broken parts and restoring strength. That He, Himself, would step into my pain and brokenness, and be my strength when I can't be strong. I was overwhelmed by the realization. I've so many times been told and believed that God was strong when we are weak, but that visual picture of Him physically stepping into me, and physically feeling a difference in my body and in my spirit, has given that promise a totally different meaning.

After retreat, I was exhausted. But on Sunday morning I was so excited to go to church! I woke up in the best mood, and was so ready to go spend yet another morning in worship, with my church family. And once again, it was so good. I'm so thankful for God's faithfulness. He's just proved Himself over and over again since I've been here. I can't wait to see what He does next!

Also, tomorrow is the first day of classes! I'm so excited! The first 2 weeks are just intensives, where all the new students stay together, in the same auditorium, and go over some general ministry stuff. It should be fun. I'll be in classes from 8:30am-5:30pm, Tuesday-Wednesday and then 9:00am-5:30pm on Thursday. I'm looking at my student calendar and it's full until the middle of February, and I'm realizing how quickly time is going to go. I'm so excited to be completely immersed in ministry, church life, and God's word. It's going to be a great year!

~~ Thank you, Jesus, for always being there...For being strong through my weakness, and perfect in my brokenness. I can't wait to fall more in love with you this year. Once again, I'm changed by you, into the person you want me to be. What a friend I've found... ~~

Come To Australia!

Hey Guys- This is a video about Australia, in case anybody wants to take vacation and come see me. :D