Regained Focus

MONDAY, JULY 6, 2009

Well, it's been about 2 months since my last post about 'Other may, you cannot' and I'm still trying to understand and walk in that. And it's still hard. I've, yet again, put myself in another "complicated" situation and am now trying to un-complicate it, hoping to experience as little pain as possible. Unfortunately, pain is inevitable... However, suffering is optional. So, I'm not letting myself suffer, I'm choosing to see the glass as half full.

God's really been speaking to me lately about total surrender and holy rebellion. Two very powerful, difficult things. The youth group went to a Lecrae concert a couple months ago and his CD, titled 'Rebel', has very much inspired me. I've become quite determined to live in rebellion towards our culture...and I've found such joy in doing so! Jesus was a rebel. A "Sactified troublemaker". I love that. That's who I want to be.

Also as of late, because of things going on in my life, I had seemed to have lost some of my drive...my determination. I got distracted and even compromised my own standards. But I learned from it...and I've regained my focus. I've laid my burdens, my issues, my heartache, my flesh, all down at Jesus' feet and I'm running hard. That doesn't make everything easy, but it makes the load lighter. And it doesn't make the pain go away but it makes you stronger. "Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me."-Phil. 3:12

So, I know I'll be back here soon, laying my next hindrance at His feet, but it's the best place to be, is it not? So I say: Not my will, but yours be done. More of you, less of me.