It only took me a couple months...

My brilliant plan to write more halted rather abruptly at prompt #2. (See post from the end of March) That's right. I got to #2.

Anyways, I may be slow but I'm persistent. At least I'm persistent in trying to be more persistent.
It's hard.

#3: A book you love.

So many books come to mind. So. Many. But this book came as quite the surprise.

THE NIGHT CIRCUS

I read this book in the winter of 2013-2014. I love an easy read that lets me escape without requiring too much brain power. I'm not a fan of the "smart" books that require me to reread a sentence multiple times to understand it. I had no idea that this silly fiction book loaned to me by my boss would be so marvelous!

The book is downright magical. It's about a circus in London that is only open from sunset to sunrise. The Night Circus. Outrageous, beautiful things happen there. The main plot being two young magicians that are pitted against one another in a rivalry that must end in death for one of them. A mysterious tale of magic, secrets, and unlikely love.

I dove so deep into this story I could barely come back to reality. I loved the strange happenings of this very alive circus and the quirky characters it housed. The main characters are intriguing and I can't help but enjoy a good love story. I'd like to read this one again.

Oops...I Skipped A Day.

Day Two: Something I feel Strongly About.


A couple years back I worked as a clerk at CVS/Pharmacy. It was a relatively boring job ringing people up and stocking shelves but it worked for me at that time in my life. While I was there I did my best to get to know my coworkers, a lot of which were between 40-60 years old. All of them rather hated the place. One day I was talking to one of the ladies about their career at CVS and I asked her if she liked it. She'd been doing it for 30+ years. She said, "It's just a job." So I asked her what she had wanted to be when she grew up or if she could do anything in the world now, what would she do.

She didn't know.

I remember not being able to comprehend her answer. She didn't know what she wanted to do? Not even an inkling of inspiration or a vague memory of a dream? I promised myself that day that I would never let that happen to me. I never want to stop dreaming and stop searching for the adventure. I never want to work a terrible job for 40 years and forget the things I dreamed about.

I know its hard. I know people have to do what they have to do - because of debt, or security, or benefits, or their children. But surely there must be a way to keep dreaming. A way that doesn't require settling for a slow death doing something you despise.

What I do right now is far from my dream job. It's what I have to do for now. But there are so many things I aspire to be and do. And I will do them. This is just a tool in my hand for the moment. My goal is to be debt-free in a year or so, and this job will help me reach that goal. Then...

The sky is the limit.

30 Day Writing Challenge - 5 Ways To Win My Heart

Happy Wednesday! My lovely Aunt Molly, whose hilarious website you should most definitely check out, pinned this 30 Day Challenge on Pinterest. I have been trying to discipline myself a little more in writing. They (whoever they are) say that writers should make time to write even when you are uninspired - good, bad, and ugly. So, as per the list to the right, today is #1: Five Ways To Win Your Heart.

1. Buy me a cup of coffee. No, really. Better yet - take me to a charming coffeehouse, buy me a cup of coffee, and sit and chat with me.

2. Make me laugh. I love to laugh. And most of the time, I desperately need to laugh. So tell me a joke, dance me jig, sing me a song - just don't tickle me. It will not be funny, it will be war.

3. Ask me about my life. I always try to be proactive with the people I meet and am trying to building relationship with - I want to know where they've been, what they've done, what's changed them and hurt them and inspired them. Their stories are interesting! Mine is too.

4. Know and love Doctor Who.

5.  Do things with me. I like to do things not collect things. Lets got to that new coffeehouse, or bowling, or to the movies, or late night swimming, or play a game. I even like to grocery shop. Lets just DO something together! Memories are my favorite.


That's all folks! More of the good, the bad, and the ugly tomorrow.

The Pursuit of Happiness

It's Tuesday morning, March 24th and I'm sitting at my desk drinking my cup of coffee deciding what I think about the snow on the ground outside. The sunshine and hints of spring have ruined me. I think the snow is harshing my mellow. 

My mom sent me this quote this morning:

"It is the very pursuit of happiness that thwarts happiness." 

I'm unsure of who said this, but whoever they are I think I agree with them. 

I've heard it other ways...Life's about the journey, not the destination...Don't miss the forest for the trees... It's been said again and again because it's true. Truth is funny like that - Enduring. Unchanging. 

I've often been caught up in the chase. Sometimes it seems that happiness is just out of my reach. I'm always right behind it, but I can't quite catch up to it. And you know what? That makes me feel unhappy. Chasing things...people...success...is exhausting. 

I do think happiness is in the journey, and that you can get so fixated on the trees that you forget you are in the forest. I try so desperately to attain happiness that I forget to be happy. And yes, I can just be happy. I get to decide. You get to decide. 

The pursuit is a distraction fueled by discontentment. Follow your dreams, work towards goals, run your race - but choose happiness along the way. 


And yes, I have Kid Cudi stuck in my head. 

Teaching the Restless to Rest

I have categorized myself as restless for a long time. I struggle with discontentment daily, and I'm not proud of that. Recently I have been intentional about leaning in and listening for what God would say in this season of my life. And you know what I'm hearing? REST. Is there anything harder for a restless person to do? 

I once heard Rest described by someone that I can't remember, but the definition they gave has always stuck with me:

-- Rest is not the act of doing nothing or being still - rather it is doing everything you do from a POSITION of rest. Choosing the position of rest in Christ, we can do all the things we must do without fatiguing (mentally/spiritually/emotionally). --

I always thought this was a great definition. Though sometimes I wish rest was an excuse to sit and do nothing! I'm grappling with this thing called rest where I am in my life. I sort of know what rest looks like. I'm not sure I've ever done "rest" well though. At least not that definition of it. In my exploring what rest would look like if I chose it, I'm dwelling on this scripture:



Matthew 11:28-30

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

I'm not a bible scholar, and I'm sure so many thoughts can come from this passage, but 

when I read these verses there are a couple things that I feel God is requiring of me if I want His rest:

- I have to come to him.

 “Come to me, all you who weary.." I can't go to other things looking for rest. 

I can't come to my husband looking for spiritual rest. My job does not provide me with His rest. Self-help books and deep breathing exercises will not bring me rest. I must come to Jesus and find rest in Him alone.

- I have to relinquish control. 

"Take my yoke upon you.." There's a submitting that has to happen when I put on his yoke. I no longer choose what I want - I follow his lead and walk with him. 

In my experience, control doesn't bring me rest. It brings me stress and anxiety. Control has to go. I find rest in letting Jesus take the lead.


- I have to be teachable.





"and learn from me..."  I have to stop living according to what I know.

A lot of the time I try to live according to my thoughts, my ideas, and my plans. So far, that has not brought me any rest! I need something better...I need what HE knows. His thoughts, His ways, His plans. God speaks through the prophet Isaiah and says this:

"As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts."

 


Jesus knew how to walk in rest, so I have to come to him, submit to him, and let him teach me about rest. And I know that when I do, He promises me this: 
  
"...you will find rest for your souls."



He says I WILL find rest. So I'm choosing to begin that journey. I'm not sure that I know the first thing about rest, but I know the one who does and I'm learning from Him.


  
 

The Jerk

As Christians, we’re taught to depend on God. That He is sufficient for all our needs. That he is everything we could ever need and want. And all those things are true. But sometimes, they stop being true to us. We stop living the truth that God is “All I Need’.

If you have seen the old Steve Martin movie “The Jerk” you’ll recognize this clip. Lets take a look and see what it is that this character says is all he needs.

http://movieclips.com/vaBbp-the-jerk-movie-thats-all-i-need/

It’s a hilarious clip right? All the random things he picks up and says he needs. In his sadness he’s trying to convince himself that he doesn’t need anything or anybody. So funny… but so true, isn’t it?

It’s easy to say “God is all I need” when we’re on the mountaintop. When joy is abundant and life’s worries seem far away. But when sadness sets in, or anger strikes, or the stock market plummets, or our children go astray… Do we still believe God is all we need? It gets harder to live that truth in those times.

Through our walk with God we forget how much we committed to him at the beginning (or maybe yesterday). How he was our everything. How we were “all-in” and needed nothing else but his spirit and his presence. Our walk gets CLUTTERED. We start making excuses and convincing ourselves that all we need is God...and money, and that’s all. All I need is God, money, and my car, and that’s all. All I need is God, money, my car and that chocolate cake, but that’s all I need. And then we start wondering why we don’t hear God, see God, feel God… How can we when we’ve accumulated all this junk? We’re drowning out what we really need with all the things we don’t really need.

I want to invite you to take the next several minutes and do some self-searching. Is your walk cluttered? What junk have you picked up along the way? What things have you convinced yourself that you need? Have you lost track of God because of these things? He hasn’t lost track of you. Would you like to hear/see/feel Him again? Lets spend this time in worship and prayer. Allow the Holy Spirit to show you what needs to be removed. Let him show you the lies you’ve been telling yourself.

Don’t go another minute living a life that’s cluttered and drowning out God's voice. Lets fix this today.

Transplant

You know how I know when I'm feeling deep, emotional, and sometimes philosophical things?  I blog. Anytime else I forget that I have a blog. ha.

transplant

Verb Move or transfer (something) to another place or situation, typically with some effort or upheaval

Yet again my life is changing drastically... Something I obviously crave, right? Within the next 6 weeks Clark and I will be transplanting our life into big-city, Pittsburgh, PA. It happened a little suddenly...but sometimes what we need most is a "suddenly".

All along we have known we would not stay in New Concord, Ohio forever. Moving was on the horizon but not planned until next fall. But the restless in me just. kept. growing. When you know something deep down in the core of you, you can't shake it or excuse it away. That's where this restlessness sat. It just took one particularly restless, emotional day for me to make the jump in my mind. "Why are we waiting?" I've observed that most of the people around me think that Clark and I do everything too big and too fast; I thought we'd keep the streak going. I started asking questions like, "Why next year?" "What's stopping us until then?" We prayed about it and made a decision within the week. When you know, you know.

So now we are here, weeks away from the transplant and it's been harder than I thought. I've seen unexpected anxiety find it's way to the surface. I thought I liked change? This time there has definitely been some "upheaval" in my soul. But God is faithful, and He is already bringing comfort to the lonely places in me.

This is what I feel is God's word for my next season of life:

"I'm bringing you into a season of brokenness. A season of greater dependency. A season of intimacy with me. I will surround you with people who will sow into you. Let me take you away for a season to know how to be a wife to your husband and to know Me as your bridegroom. I will not leave you as an orphan."

I am familiar with brokenness and part of me cringed when I understood that this was yet another broken season. But most of me became peaceful, knowing the beautiful intimacy that comes as I am broken before God. I trust His timing and His plans for me.

I'll be posting more often (I hope) in Pittsburgh to keep you all informed on my crazy life. Thanks for following my crazy adventure as I follow God! :)

-Coffee Shop Girl